emily;

Not gonna blog for a while - haven't got the heart for it.
But I'm sure Jimmy will be more than sufficient reading. lol

Thanks to kimbob for making me laugh when I thought it was impossible to smile
Thanks to Jimmy for sticking around and being unmovable
Thanks to Amanda for her occassional mentions and lift-me-ups haha
Thanks to Jam for unwavering support and advice
Thanks to Jess and Jenn for understanding
Thanks to Cao, Vincent, Daryl and Davie for looking after me saturday night

Over and out
Be back in a while




0 comments
emily;


this could have all been avoided
if I didn't let him get of that car
if I had kept them apart
it could have all been avoided


0 comments
emily;


Some more explanations are due, and especially, some overdue apologies.

To daisy:
Don't know if you will ever read this, and I don't care if other people read this, but it was the only I could contact you in the best way I could think of. You're right, and I'm sorry. I let things get out of hand - way more out of hand than I ever thought it could get. You helped me, even when I knew you didn't want to and had no choice.
Like I said in my previous post. I miss you. I miss Davo, and I miss Kelvin. I always felt a little secluded from your trio during high school - cause you were always closer to them than I would ever be, but I still miss it. I realised before it was too late to fix things, and I'm sorry for that. I should have tried harder, but please don't think that I didn't try. Those "empty phone calls", I didn't mean for them to be that way. They were the only times I could man up the courage to face you; in the pursuit that I would be able to just grasp back any little piece of friendship that we had left.

Him? I'd be lying if I said he didn't mean everything to me. I guess its because I put so much of my being into making something work that I lost track of the other important things.
I don't want to be one of those people who disappear, and then suddenly come back because things go wrong. But I guess that's the way it always happens.

All I can say is that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry Daisy, I'm sorry Jimmy, and I'm sorry Davo.

I know that I have done you all wrong.


0 comments
emily;


okay, let me explain.

Maybe you should all ignore my last blog before the one about the rainbow - i.e. the one in lame dedication to Kimb. Why? Because I lied.

Life isn't stable and I miss my friends. I miss having too much time and not knowing what to do with it. Yes, I know. I've let myself down. I've let this situation occur. But, as stupid as this may sound, the circumstances which have influenced this situation was anything but easy. I'm not going to go into detail about these influences right now, but I guess you could all probably guess what I'm getting at anyway.

My life is a total mess.

Where did all this emo inspiration come from? I just read Amanda's blog. And I felt guilty for lying. Even if this is just some little bit of cyberspace that actually contributes to no amount of matter to anything.

Family. The word itself connotes to disharmony, difficult decisions and complete and utter frustration. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart says one thing, my head says another. Cliche cliche cliche
Look at this, I can't even write.

Am I too young? Is it merely hormonal talk?
Do my parents really know what's best for me?
Have I lost the plot? Is it to late to go back?

What do I do now?


0 comments
emily;


and after the sun comes the fucking rain.
Where the hell did the rainbow go?


0 comments
emily;

Kimberly told me to blog.
Kimberly is a bully.

On another note, how freaking nice was today??
Summer. I could smell it. And it was freaking awesome!
I wish I hadn't wasted it though - I tried ... very hard I might add, to start on my torts essay. But the sunshine was torture. So I gave in for a while; sitting in the sun for about an hour outside hoping that a beautiful tan might suddenly appear.

There's nothing to blog about really. Life is ordinary; stable. I have nothing to complain about but a lot to look forward to. The only thing I wish I could change was my time management. I'm exceptionally bad at this. No matter what I do, there always seems to be no time for phone calls and meet ups. Maybe this will all change in a month or so. Who knows. As depressing as this may sound, I'm too worn out to exert any more effort. Hold it against me if you will, but those people who matter, they'll always know I love them.

That was a stupid paragraph.

Are you happy Kimb? I just saved you from 5 minutes of boredom. :)


0 comments
jimmi;

I was on the train the other day and i couldn't help but over hear a woman rabble on about her so called gifted son. Now fair enough all parents should be proud of their little miracles, but there is a point from your child being 'special' to your child being the vessel you are going to ride your failed dreams on. A recent survey found out that 85% of people who thought their children were gifted, were only mediocre. Also another survey found out that 90% of all parents who thought their child was gifted were indeed on crack cocaine. Go figure.

Now rant of the day, ignorant people! You hear people say ignorant shit all the time, and sometimes you just want them to shut the fuck up. I remember a few weeks ago there was this girl bitching about some girl and what a slut she was, then she said something that really annoyed me "I don't cheat on my boyfriend", well honey..YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO you dumb bitch! It's like everyone nowadays wants credit for something they are suppose to do. Another example is like when a white guy says DDR is shit lame and only gay Asians play that, but you ignorant slut, you dance like a retard like that when Justice is cranking at 77. Ignorant people failing at life is sad, but whats worse is that fat kids never fail at cooking.

And where do the failed people go? TAFE! I was conversing with shire kid Gouldy today and I came to the conclusion that TAFE is like a club with books. You pay 10 bucks to get in after a hefty and confusing confrontation with the door bitch(administration), then you head in and wander arond aimlessly not knowing what the fuck you are doing there in the first place. So after a while you kinda have an idea of whats going on, you go to the bar and hit up some drinks(fees) where you meet more clueless people(TAFE lecturers). Now after some inchorent banter you hit the dance floor where you meet the glamour kids(uni students). You challenge them to a battle (exam), only to be served back with superior buck krumping and freestylin rhymes. This is where the security notices you are fail and thus kicks you out of the club . So what did you learn? It's a waste of time.

Now to the boring part. I talked about bullshit and lies a few weeks ago but i want to touch up on it. As said before the key difference between bullshit and lies is the intention of deceit. My query is, when does bullshit turn into a lie. As in, how much delusion can one have before they no longer have the option of thinking they are not a liar. Because in the end i think most people are lying to themselves and should come to the realisation of their actual situation. Now i am not saying people dont lie to each other. My general rule of thumb is that everyone lies! I can admit that men lie alot but womens lies are so much worse. For example a male lie would be like "I was at Davo's house" but a female lie is something like "It's your baby".

Rant over and out!




0 comments
jimmi;

It has come to my attention that I have become totally apathetic towards everything. I no longer care about what i do, what i wear or what i eat. One could say that I have given up on morals and beliefs altogether. Just the other day i traded my faith for a pair of shoes. Thats right bitches you heard me. I hocked a crucifix i got for my confirmation for a pair of bitchin' shoes from Pete Vs Toby. Now these shoes are illin'! Now you may say im going to hell but you know what? Bring it, cause im going to be moon walking all over that mofo in these stylish shoes!

To reference emily's post about shopping alone, fuck social norms. If she wants to shop alone, then let the bitch do so! Why does there have to be a convention to every situation one finds themself in? You pride yourself of having the ability to choose what you want to do, however you sacrifice your liberty for the security of being accepted. You should have neither. HA, and they say we have freedom in todays society, you know what? Fuck the free world! This world isn't free, we just live under the illusion that it is, if it was we could all be eating chicken and watermelon without being judged by fools who think Kanye West is a rapper.

Finally I am sick of this notion of "love" being thrown around like a two dollar prostitute on a Sunday. The true meaning has been lost decades ago in the sea of corny hall mark cards, half paper candy and streams of delusional teen dramas who are written by people who smoke crack everyday. So please keep your obviously crack induced opinions and beliefs on the matter to your god damn self.

Peace niggers!


0 comments
emily;


Soooooo ... Bonnie blogged from Fisher library in her last entry, so I am copying her coolness and blogging in UTS library. Oh the joy of being university students with access to computer libraries. My contracts textbook is sitting next to me looking pretty, as are my pens, my books, and my lovely usb stick which I purchased for $15.

I'm a sad case.

First of all, happy birthday shout out to Azzi and Anish Wilson. I don't think they're going to read this, but oh well. It seemed appropriate. :)

2 weeks ago I joined ebay. I know, I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but let's just put that fact aside for now. Anyway, being impulsive me, I bid on this high waisted pair of lee shorts for $20. Heck! Lee shorts for $20! They were a size 10 ... and I thought since I've gained a bit of weight, I'd fit into them FUH SURE. Unfortunately I failed to see the measurements which the owner had put up. The waist measurement was 84cm.
I ran into mum's room and stole her tape measure.
My waist measures 74cm.
WHAT THE HECK - since when did I have this tiny waist??
Now, I am sitting here praying that someone else will bid on the shorts ...

BUT BIDDING IS SO MUCH FUN. I can't resist just keying in a number and laughing with glee ... even though the excitement only lasts for about 5secs. Stfu ebay and my addiction to you! Stfu you and your alluring consumerist nature!

BUT UTS LIBRARY WON'T LET ME ACCESS EBAY. WHY?

I'm an idiot hahaha

Over and out.


0 comments

emily;

Not gonna blog for a while - haven't got the heart for it.
But I'm sure Jimmy will be more than sufficient reading. lol

Thanks to kimbob for making me laugh when I thought it was impossible to smile
Thanks to Jimmy for sticking around and being unmovable
Thanks to Amanda for her occassional mentions and lift-me-ups haha
Thanks to Jam for unwavering support and advice
Thanks to Jess and Jenn for understanding
Thanks to Cao, Vincent, Daryl and Davie for looking after me saturday night

Over and out
Be back in a while



emily;


this could have all been avoided
if I didn't let him get of that car
if I had kept them apart
it could have all been avoided

emily;


Some more explanations are due, and especially, some overdue apologies.

To daisy:
Don't know if you will ever read this, and I don't care if other people read this, but it was the only I could contact you in the best way I could think of. You're right, and I'm sorry. I let things get out of hand - way more out of hand than I ever thought it could get. You helped me, even when I knew you didn't want to and had no choice.
Like I said in my previous post. I miss you. I miss Davo, and I miss Kelvin. I always felt a little secluded from your trio during high school - cause you were always closer to them than I would ever be, but I still miss it. I realised before it was too late to fix things, and I'm sorry for that. I should have tried harder, but please don't think that I didn't try. Those "empty phone calls", I didn't mean for them to be that way. They were the only times I could man up the courage to face you; in the pursuit that I would be able to just grasp back any little piece of friendship that we had left.

Him? I'd be lying if I said he didn't mean everything to me. I guess its because I put so much of my being into making something work that I lost track of the other important things.
I don't want to be one of those people who disappear, and then suddenly come back because things go wrong. But I guess that's the way it always happens.

All I can say is that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry Daisy, I'm sorry Jimmy, and I'm sorry Davo.

I know that I have done you all wrong.

emily;


okay, let me explain.

Maybe you should all ignore my last blog before the one about the rainbow - i.e. the one in lame dedication to Kimb. Why? Because I lied.

Life isn't stable and I miss my friends. I miss having too much time and not knowing what to do with it. Yes, I know. I've let myself down. I've let this situation occur. But, as stupid as this may sound, the circumstances which have influenced this situation was anything but easy. I'm not going to go into detail about these influences right now, but I guess you could all probably guess what I'm getting at anyway.

My life is a total mess.

Where did all this emo inspiration come from? I just read Amanda's blog. And I felt guilty for lying. Even if this is just some little bit of cyberspace that actually contributes to no amount of matter to anything.

Family. The word itself connotes to disharmony, difficult decisions and complete and utter frustration. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart says one thing, my head says another. Cliche cliche cliche
Look at this, I can't even write.

Am I too young? Is it merely hormonal talk?
Do my parents really know what's best for me?
Have I lost the plot? Is it to late to go back?

What do I do now?

emily;


and after the sun comes the fucking rain.
Where the hell did the rainbow go?

emily;

Kimberly told me to blog.
Kimberly is a bully.

On another note, how freaking nice was today??
Summer. I could smell it. And it was freaking awesome!
I wish I hadn't wasted it though - I tried ... very hard I might add, to start on my torts essay. But the sunshine was torture. So I gave in for a while; sitting in the sun for about an hour outside hoping that a beautiful tan might suddenly appear.

There's nothing to blog about really. Life is ordinary; stable. I have nothing to complain about but a lot to look forward to. The only thing I wish I could change was my time management. I'm exceptionally bad at this. No matter what I do, there always seems to be no time for phone calls and meet ups. Maybe this will all change in a month or so. Who knows. As depressing as this may sound, I'm too worn out to exert any more effort. Hold it against me if you will, but those people who matter, they'll always know I love them.

That was a stupid paragraph.

Are you happy Kimb? I just saved you from 5 minutes of boredom. :)

jimmi;

I was on the train the other day and i couldn't help but over hear a woman rabble on about her so called gifted son. Now fair enough all parents should be proud of their little miracles, but there is a point from your child being 'special' to your child being the vessel you are going to ride your failed dreams on. A recent survey found out that 85% of people who thought their children were gifted, were only mediocre. Also another survey found out that 90% of all parents who thought their child was gifted were indeed on crack cocaine. Go figure.

Now rant of the day, ignorant people! You hear people say ignorant shit all the time, and sometimes you just want them to shut the fuck up. I remember a few weeks ago there was this girl bitching about some girl and what a slut she was, then she said something that really annoyed me "I don't cheat on my boyfriend", well honey..YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO you dumb bitch! It's like everyone nowadays wants credit for something they are suppose to do. Another example is like when a white guy says DDR is shit lame and only gay Asians play that, but you ignorant slut, you dance like a retard like that when Justice is cranking at 77. Ignorant people failing at life is sad, but whats worse is that fat kids never fail at cooking.

And where do the failed people go? TAFE! I was conversing with shire kid Gouldy today and I came to the conclusion that TAFE is like a club with books. You pay 10 bucks to get in after a hefty and confusing confrontation with the door bitch(administration), then you head in and wander arond aimlessly not knowing what the fuck you are doing there in the first place. So after a while you kinda have an idea of whats going on, you go to the bar and hit up some drinks(fees) where you meet more clueless people(TAFE lecturers). Now after some inchorent banter you hit the dance floor where you meet the glamour kids(uni students). You challenge them to a battle (exam), only to be served back with superior buck krumping and freestylin rhymes. This is where the security notices you are fail and thus kicks you out of the club . So what did you learn? It's a waste of time.

Now to the boring part. I talked about bullshit and lies a few weeks ago but i want to touch up on it. As said before the key difference between bullshit and lies is the intention of deceit. My query is, when does bullshit turn into a lie. As in, how much delusion can one have before they no longer have the option of thinking they are not a liar. Because in the end i think most people are lying to themselves and should come to the realisation of their actual situation. Now i am not saying people dont lie to each other. My general rule of thumb is that everyone lies! I can admit that men lie alot but womens lies are so much worse. For example a male lie would be like "I was at Davo's house" but a female lie is something like "It's your baby".

Rant over and out!



jimmi;

It has come to my attention that I have become totally apathetic towards everything. I no longer care about what i do, what i wear or what i eat. One could say that I have given up on morals and beliefs altogether. Just the other day i traded my faith for a pair of shoes. Thats right bitches you heard me. I hocked a crucifix i got for my confirmation for a pair of bitchin' shoes from Pete Vs Toby. Now these shoes are illin'! Now you may say im going to hell but you know what? Bring it, cause im going to be moon walking all over that mofo in these stylish shoes!

To reference emily's post about shopping alone, fuck social norms. If she wants to shop alone, then let the bitch do so! Why does there have to be a convention to every situation one finds themself in? You pride yourself of having the ability to choose what you want to do, however you sacrifice your liberty for the security of being accepted. You should have neither. HA, and they say we have freedom in todays society, you know what? Fuck the free world! This world isn't free, we just live under the illusion that it is, if it was we could all be eating chicken and watermelon without being judged by fools who think Kanye West is a rapper.

Finally I am sick of this notion of "love" being thrown around like a two dollar prostitute on a Sunday. The true meaning has been lost decades ago in the sea of corny hall mark cards, half paper candy and streams of delusional teen dramas who are written by people who smoke crack everyday. So please keep your obviously crack induced opinions and beliefs on the matter to your god damn self.

Peace niggers!

emily;


Soooooo ... Bonnie blogged from Fisher library in her last entry, so I am copying her coolness and blogging in UTS library. Oh the joy of being university students with access to computer libraries. My contracts textbook is sitting next to me looking pretty, as are my pens, my books, and my lovely usb stick which I purchased for $15.

I'm a sad case.

First of all, happy birthday shout out to Azzi and Anish Wilson. I don't think they're going to read this, but oh well. It seemed appropriate. :)

2 weeks ago I joined ebay. I know, I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but let's just put that fact aside for now. Anyway, being impulsive me, I bid on this high waisted pair of lee shorts for $20. Heck! Lee shorts for $20! They were a size 10 ... and I thought since I've gained a bit of weight, I'd fit into them FUH SURE. Unfortunately I failed to see the measurements which the owner had put up. The waist measurement was 84cm.
I ran into mum's room and stole her tape measure.
My waist measures 74cm.
WHAT THE HECK - since when did I have this tiny waist??
Now, I am sitting here praying that someone else will bid on the shorts ...

BUT BIDDING IS SO MUCH FUN. I can't resist just keying in a number and laughing with glee ... even though the excitement only lasts for about 5secs. Stfu ebay and my addiction to you! Stfu you and your alluring consumerist nature!

BUT UTS LIBRARY WON'T LET ME ACCESS EBAY. WHY?

I'm an idiot hahaha

Over and out.