emily;

I keep oscillating between states of extreme panic, and states of indifference. Right now, I'm sort of somewhere in between. But I bet once I look at how little I've written on King Lear, I'm gonna be ... yep, right back to panic & being hella scared. Mum keeps saying "it'll be over in less than 2 weeks" - easy for her to say. But it's okay :) There's so many things to look forward to... like formal shopping the girls, eating icecream while watching the Notebook with Nat, and just downright doing anything I want.

Anyways, a week which started off dreadfully pretty much ended on a high!
Last night was bloody AWESOME. We played some other Bankstown Sports team and beat them 36 - 30 WITH Tu fouled out. haha glorious! One of the girls on the other team fully wrenched at my jersey when I was on a fast break and nearly made me stack it ... thrice. Gosh, who every knew girls could be so aggressive. But still. WE WON!
I hate it when boys watch our game though lol. I always try to concentrate and not make a fool of myself, but of course, the opposite happens. Hopefully they didn't notice.

I feel guilty about something other than my studies. My parents have always been there for me right? So is my action of ignoring them justified by my obsession with hitting the books?
Mum told me today that I was probably the only person who still hung out with her. Marriage seems so goddamn hard. Man, I can't even sustain a relationship for more than 6 months, let alone years and years of being committed to that one particular person. It's never going to happen.
haha I guess I'll die lonely.

I keep tripping on thoughts in my head,
I can't believe the selfish eyes of mine.
And I know, I haven't been myself for so long, so long.

Am I too late to go home
Am I too late, to see the road
Or is it obvious to know?
- Playjerise


0 comments

emily;

I keep oscillating between states of extreme panic, and states of indifference. Right now, I'm sort of somewhere in between. But I bet once I look at how little I've written on King Lear, I'm gonna be ... yep, right back to panic & being hella scared. Mum keeps saying "it'll be over in less than 2 weeks" - easy for her to say. But it's okay :) There's so many things to look forward to... like formal shopping the girls, eating icecream while watching the Notebook with Nat, and just downright doing anything I want.

Anyways, a week which started off dreadfully pretty much ended on a high!
Last night was bloody AWESOME. We played some other Bankstown Sports team and beat them 36 - 30 WITH Tu fouled out. haha glorious! One of the girls on the other team fully wrenched at my jersey when I was on a fast break and nearly made me stack it ... thrice. Gosh, who every knew girls could be so aggressive. But still. WE WON!
I hate it when boys watch our game though lol. I always try to concentrate and not make a fool of myself, but of course, the opposite happens. Hopefully they didn't notice.

I feel guilty about something other than my studies. My parents have always been there for me right? So is my action of ignoring them justified by my obsession with hitting the books?
Mum told me today that I was probably the only person who still hung out with her. Marriage seems so goddamn hard. Man, I can't even sustain a relationship for more than 6 months, let alone years and years of being committed to that one particular person. It's never going to happen.
haha I guess I'll die lonely.

I keep tripping on thoughts in my head,
I can't believe the selfish eyes of mine.
And I know, I haven't been myself for so long, so long.

Am I too late to go home
Am I too late, to see the road
Or is it obvious to know?
- Playjerise